I was asked out today while I was running at the gym. I’m dripping in sweat and this guy comes over and says “I see you girl” then fist bumps me. I’m like hey ok. Continue running. Then he comes back a few minutes later and asks me if I’m seeing anyone. I say no. He asks my name and puts his hand out to shake. I said “hey I’m Amy. Nice to meet you.” He says something like “I’ve never seen you around here before.” I told him I come all the time. Mind you, I’m STILL RUNNING at this point. I’m dripping in sweat, breathing heavy, etc. He asks for my number. I tell him no. He asks to give me his number and says his name is Donovan. I said, “Well maybe next time you see me we can talk more. I have to finish my run.”
So there’s the story of how Amy got hit on at the gym on Valentine’s Day and turned the guy down cuz she was too focused on her run.
Do y’all fart when you’re working out? For some reason, when I’m working out, gas seems to work itself out of my body. I’m completely serious people. I beg you to be honest if you post a comment. And don’t give me any of that “I’m a woman and I never fart” bullcrap. We all fart. It’s nature. Also, farts are funny. I am a 27-year-old woman, but I still think farts are hilarious. I giggle like a kid, no lie.
For some reason, whenever I’m doing cardio (walking, jogging, elliptical, whatever), I can’t help but fart. They’re not very smelly farts. They’re not noisy farts. They’re regular farts. A one-gun salute. The trouser cough. A bottom burp.
Thank goodness I’m not the only one:
When you are running, you are using your efforts toward the running process, and, in addition to that, your digestion is being “helped along” by the exercise, so any gas in your system is moving along with great speed. It would be more difficult to suppress gas while running, as you can guess. (yahoo)
I did some Internet research (yes, I spent almost an hour googling fart, fart machine, fart euphemisms, etc) and here are some fart facts:
It’s normal to fart 12 – 40 times per day, emitting between 0.5 and two liters of gas. You should only worry if you fart significantly more than this.
Farts contain gases such as nitrogen, carbon dioxide, methane, hydrogen, oxygen, and hydrogen sulphide. These gases are produced by bacteria that live in the digestive system and break down food into nutrients that the body can absorb.
There’s a company that makes special underwear, designed to reduce the smell of farts. NO JOKE. THIS IS A REAL PRODUCT.
I’m not one to hold in a fart. That’s just an embarrassing moment waiting to happen. Now, I know that holding in a fart could be dangerous, “It’s tempting to hold in your farts to avoid embarrassment in social settings. But if you hold your farts in for too long, the gas can be absorbed in the blood stream and then exhaled as a bad breath” (Uncensored English Vocabulary).
So there you have it. I fart when I work out. Do you?
On Saturday, I joined Anne Munkwitz and Rochelle Van Hart for the Salus Corporate Treadmill challenge, a challenge to run or walk around Wisconsin (held at the RACC Multisport Expo). I saw the tweets and Facebook posts about this challenge and was intrigued but also a bit scared. Anne and Rochelle signed up to run on a treadmill for 2 hours straight. No potty breaks, no stopping to catch your breath… running, on a treadmill, for two freaking hours. I asked Anne for a li’l more info Friday and decided, what the hell. I contacted the organizer and booked a spot next to the other FitMilwaukee gals.
I know what you’re thinking – surely Amy didn’t run on a treadmill for two hours!!!
And you’re right, I didn’t.
Run that is.
I think God made me without certain “fear” receptors in the brain. Sometimes, I just don’t think about things before I do them. I am a li’l fearless like that. I’ve done some stupid things in my life (no comments from the peanut gallery) and I’ve embarrassed myself more times than I’d care to admit. But that’s never stopped me from doing something stupid, or in this case, friggin’ awesome.
Looking back, I’m a little mortified at what I did on Saturday.
I am fat.
I am fat and I went to a FITNESS expo.
I am fat and I went to a FITNESS expo and walked on a treadmill.
I am fat and I went to a FITNESS expo and walked on a treadmill for two hours.
I am fat and I went to a FITNESS expo and walked on a treadmill for two hours, walking a total of 5.6 miles.
What was I thinking? Seriously, what WAS I THINKING? I was on a treadmill facing the expo (thank God they couldn’t see my fat butt) with people walking past me for two hours, seeing me, all 267 pounds of me, walking on a treadmill. Shiz. Two hours. TWO FREAKING HOURS. AT A FITNESS EXPO.
If you follow my workouts on DailyMile, you know that I haven’t walked more than 2 miles since I started this whole thing. The fact that I walked 5.6 miles without a lot of training (and at a very consistent pace of 3.0-3.5 mph) is a huge deal. This alone is evidence to me that I have changed. Sure, there were a few times I wanted to stop, but then I looked to my left and saw Anne and Rochelle running away and I knew I couldn’t stop. In fact, at one point, I even contemplated running for a bit. Yeah, you read that right – I wanted to run. What is wrong with me?
It all seems so surreal… I still can’t believe I did that just 2 days ago.
Thanks to Anne and Rochelle for pushing me and inspiring me to do this. I seriously couldn’t do it without you.
And here’s a li’l video Mike Collins took of us near the end of the two hours (don’t I look hawt?).