Day 18: A comedy of errors

So, yesterday was interesting. As I got into my car in the Walgreens parking lot before work, I heard (and felt) my tights rip at the back seam. If I would have gone back home, I would have been late for work and I figured it wasn’t too bad so I just went about my day.

But the rip kept getting bigger. If you follow me on twitter, you know that it just kept getting worse. When I got home from work, the seam had ripped almost completely to the front of the tights. This is what I saw when I took the tights off:

Let me tell you, it was breezy up in here.

Besides being crabby and tired, the FODMAPs elimination diet is going well. Unless you count the horribly bland salads I’ve had the last two days when eating out. Last night I had to pick off the croutons. SADSIES.

So today, I had my first training session back with my trainer, John. I haven’t seen him since January because of the whole slipping on the ice and throwing out my back thing.

I walked into the gym he now owns (Bayview Fitness!!!) and walked into the locker room. I thought something looked a little different and then… I saw the urinal. Facepalm. I would have been ok (no guys in there) except for as I was trying to sneak OUT of the locker room, a guy was walking in. He looked at me funny and I muttered, “Ugh! Wrong locker room! hahahah. It’s been a rough morning. I mean day. I mean, umm, ahh.” Then I just walked into the women’s locker room.

Sometimes I think that my life could EASILY be turned into a sitcom. Days like the last two are only proof that it would be hilariously embarrassing.

Day 16: WTF(odmap)

Day 16 of marathon training, Day 2 of FODMAP elimination diet.

I’m not going to lie to you.


I’m still bloaty, not as gassy but now I’m CRABBY AND BITCHY AND KIND OF DEPRESSED.

Top it all off and I go for a run today after work (with my new running capris) and they start rolling down my gut. Like I couldn’t run more than a block. It was horrible. I ended up walking about a mile. Then I got frustrated and went home.

I’ll make up for it tomorrow… or something.

Le sigh.

On another note, I got the sweetest, most amazing email the other day from a blog reader named Alana. Alana, your email made me cry. I WILL be responding soon, I’m just completely humbled by it.

And to Ro, your message today was just what I needed to pick my sorry self up off the floor. I <3 you.

Finally, I leave you with this. Chicken Bacon Dijon Potato Patties. It’s a nifty gluten-free, FODMAP-free meal I created tonight. You can find the recipe here.

Day 14: FODMAPs

A lot has happened in the past few days. I’ve seen the Hunger Games. Twice.

I had the MOST AMAZING RUN (and experienced “Vomit Hill”).

Vomit Hill - I almost contributed to its namesake.

And yesterday, I saw a nutritionist. I have been thinking about seeing one for quite some time and this past week I was pushed to the edge. I feel like my body is attacking itself whenever I eat.

You see, I was diagnosed with Acid Reflux at age 5; Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) at 10; Chronic Daily Headaches due to decreased levels of Serotonin at 19; Lactose Intolerance in early 20s; Hypothyroidism at 27; Gastroparesis at 28. Not to mention Asthma and Seasonal Allergies.

That’s a whole lot of auto-immune problems going on.

When you have IBS, you’re told to eat more fiber. When you try to lose weight, you are told to eat more fiber – because it is more filling than other foods.

When you’re diagnosed with gastroparesis, you’re told to eat less fiber – that fiber is one of the worst things for that condition.

So, when you have it all (aren’t you jealous?), what in the hell are you supposed to eat?

I don’t know. And that’s why I went to see a nutritionist. No matter what I’ve tried, I can’t lose more weight. I’m down 27 lbs. from my highest weight 2 years ago, but I cannot get past this hump. It’s frustrating because I work out – hard. I work out 4-5 times a week.

The appointment was very eye-opening. Rachel was very friendly and helpful. I was afraid that I would scare her off with all my problems. After listening to my history, taking a look at a food log and asking me some other questions, Rachel suggested I might benefit from eliminating FODMAPs from my diet.

I know what you’re thinking – what in the hell are FODMAPs?

FODMAPs are short chain carbohydrates which are poorly absorbed in the small intestine. The term is an acronym.

FODMAPs are: Fermentable, Oligosaccharides (eg. Fructans and Galactans), Disaccharides (eg. Lactose), Monosaccharides (eg. excess Fructose) and Polyols (eg. Sorbitol, Mannitol, Maltitol, Xylitol and Isomalt).

Basically, they are sugars, starches and fibers in food that some people (especially those with IBS) can’t fully digest or absorb. Because FODMAPs aren’t absorbed properly in the small intestine, “They end up in the large intestine along with water, where they undergo bacterial fermentation into hydrogen, carbon dioxide and short-chain fatty acids.” Sounds sexy, right?

Can I be honest here? Good. I can’t even explain just how bloated I’ve been lately. And gassy. Again with the sexy talk.

After researching and reading more about FODMAPs, I wonder if the size of my gut will go down as I eliminate FODMAPs from my diet. Can I blame my bloaty gut on them? We’ll see.

First attempt at FODMAPs elimination diet - salmon cakes.

For the past two weeks, it hasn’t mattered what I eat – I always feel horrible after eating. It’s frustrating. It makes you not want to eat. But I know I have to, so I keep eating. Honestly, I’m willing to try just about anything at this point. So, Rachel and I decided that I would try to eliminate FODMAPs from my diet for the next month, and then return to discuss how the month went. I am going to keep a food journal, detailing everything I eat for the next month. I will be including my energy level and other physical symptoms with each post. You can follow my food journal (if you’re interested) at

Initially, I’m going to completely eliminate FODMAPs from my diet. If things get better, I may attempt to bring certain (borderline) foods back in to my diet, to see which FODMAPs my body can tolerate. I’m hopeful this elimination diet will change my life for the better. Otherwise, I’m gonna be pissed to give up things like apples, pears, avocados, watermelon, artichokes, asparagus, garlic, onion, mushrooms and EVERYTHING THAT CONTAINS GLUTEN/WHEAT.

Yeah. I’m not happy about this diet, but I’m trying it because I so desperately want to feel normal. Even if it means eliminating favorite foods from my diet. Basically, eliminating FODMAPs from your diet means eating no packaged foods – it is difficult to find packaged foods that don’t contain FODMAPs, so this afternoon’s trip to the grocery store was a lengthy one – full of reading labels on EVERYTHING and trying not to feel too depressed. I’m to the point I just NEED to feel better and I’ll do just about anything to get there.

Anyways. Whew. There’s that. Here’s to new beginnings.

Here are some resources I’ve found helpful so far:


Day 9: Running to beat stress

Day 9/210: 2.85 mi in 40:45. Average pace: 14:11.

Tunes: Dan Savage Podcast. AWESOME.

Headed out for a run after work. And boy did I need a good run. It wasn’t as cathartic as I would have liked, but it helped nonetheless. (Stressful couple of days).

Was great to see Marge G. around the lagoon at McCarty Park!!! I loved catching up with my TC buddy! 😀

Keep on keeping on.

BTW – it’s hard to take self portraits while running. Exhibit A:


Day 8: Migraine, nausea, awesome.

Well. Today I was going to go for a run, but my body said “hells to the no.” I woke up this morning feeling nauseous but I’ve been feeling queasy for a few days so I thought nothing of it. Then, mid-morning I got all the warning signs of a migraine headache. I knew I had about 60-90 minutes before it would knock me unconscious so I finished up what I was doing at work and drove home. I turned all the lights off and slept for a good 4-5 hours. I’m still feeling the after-effects, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. But I’m still nauseous. Good times. Nothing half a bottle of Tums can’t cure.

So basically, today I’m using up one of my rest days for the week. Blergh. It sucks to do that on the first day of the week!

Here’s a recap of Week 1’s training log on Dailymile:

Thanks to Kelsey and Ashe, my top motivators for the week. 😀

Day 7: Just a walk with the dogs

Well, this weekend got crazy. Gizmo (family dog) got sick and was rushed to the doggie ER. He spent the night, but came home late Sunday. Here’s the poor pup Sunday morning.

While my parents went to pick up Gizmo from the hospital, I took Bandit (other family dog) and my li’l Beep for a short walk around the neighborhood. Here’s a glmps of our walk.

Nothing major to report today. Week 1 of marathon training is complete. 29 weeks to go.

Day 6: 3 miles of bribery

Day 6 of marathon training. First “long” run. Truth be told I didn’t know if I’d be able to do it. Haven’t ran more than 1-2 mi at a time since the beginning of the year (thanks to slipping on ice and throwing out my back and some other health related issues). But I did it, and much faster than I thought I would be. Yayz. I got some of my confidence back. Oh did I mention I didn’t walk? Eek. See also: wearing a singlet to run on March 17 IN WISCONSIN.

3.1 miles in 44 min (14:11 pace)

On my run today I came across a group of young girls. Here is our conversation:

Little girl: why are you running?
Me: because I’m training for a marathon.
Little girl: why would you do something like that?
Me: because I want to
Little girl: that’s weird.

Touché, little girl. Touché.


PS: The reason it was 3 miles of bribery is that I told myself if I went for a run I could eat a cupcake. But I got home and never ended up eating that cupcake. WOAH. WILLPOWER. I HAS IT.

Day 5: Rest

On Friday I ended up using up my other “rest” day for the week. My sister is in town (YAYZ) and she, her boyfriend and I went to the museum to see the Cleopatra exhibit. It was pretty awesome. Here’s the “Cleocatra” stuffed animal we found in the gift shop. LMAO.

I spent the rest of the day eating cupcakes, drinking beer and showing some lovely ladies my Jamberry Nails! Win.

Day 4: Rest

It’s day 4 of marathon training. An unplanned day of rest. But it’s ok. Monday (aka Day 1) was supposed to be a rest day. Of course, yesterday was supposed to be 3 miles, but SHUT UP. I got a lot on my mind.

But, on the upside, my sister is coming home for the weekend. She’ll be here in 2 hours. YAYz. So my “workout” tonight was really just cleaning up all my crap in the room where she and Matt are staying this weekend. That’s gotta count for something!

Day 3: Meh (see also: why being an adult sucks balls)

Marathon Training Day 3: Couldn’t get into a groove. Cut the run short because there was way too much weighing on my mind and it was weighing my feet down… down to more of a walk. Plus Beep kept stopping to pee and smell things (1.84mi in about 30 minutes).

So what was weighing on my mind?

Well, I’m apartment hunting right now. Because I work for the city of Milwaukee, I have to live in the city… but since I wasn’t a resident when I started, I was given a year to move into the city.

Now that winter has (not really) come and gone, it’s high-time I find a new home for me and the Beepster.

I don’t have a lot of furniture and don’t need anything real big, since it’s me and a 7 lb dog.

My favorite parts of the city are the east side and bay view. I <3 these neighborhoods something FIERCE. It is my long-term goal to buy a small house in Bay View. It’s where I belong.

I’ve been doing some massive online searching using every tool known to mankind as I search for an apartment. My favorite has been (also iPhone/iPad app!). It pulls in ads from a bunch of sources and maps them out…

Here’s my problem(s):

  • I have a dog. Some places require a non-refundable deposit and monthly rent. Some require just a deposit. Many require refundable deposit plus pet rent. I understand the reasoning behind this. I really do. I just don’t think I should have to drop a billionty dollars to have a 7lb dog in my apartment. She’s tiny.
  • Old houses/apartments (my fav) cost a LOT to heat.
  • Parking on the eastside is near-impossible. If you have off-street parking, it likely costs you $60-150/mo. JUST TO PARK YOUR CAR.
  • I would prefer to live on my own (i.e. no roommate).

I have basically figured out a budget of what I can comfortably handle each month for a residence (i.e. rent, parking, dog, heat, water, electricity, internet, etc). I know I could afford more than what I’m looking at, but I want to be smart and to have money to do things like eat, register for races, save for a downpayment on a house, splurge on lattes and continue to pay down debt I accrued whilst being stupid during college (ok and a little post college).

On Monday, I looked at a studio apartment just north of Brady Street on Cambridge (east side). Great neighborhood. Dog-friendly building. 3rd or 5th floor tiny apartment. Mini stove, small fridge, no counter space in kitchen. Rent (incl. heat) + Dog + Parking + Water/Sewer (paid quarterly) + electricity = $590. Add in electricity and internet = $650-700/mo. Brady Street is one of my favoritest places ever. The studio was workable, but tiny. So tiny that I cried when I got back to my car. There was laundry on-site, but no storage units. So everything I own would have to fit into a 200-square-foot apartment.

Today, I looked at a 1 bedroom apartment near 76th and Howard. Not the neighborhood I want, but a nice neighborhood nonetheless. Close to lots of shopping, gas stations, parks, and just a few miles from my parents’ house. Nice big complex. Parking, heat, gas, water, sewer and AC incl. in rent. Ground floor apartment with sliding glass doors and patio (perfect for letting beep out!) Living room (the size of the previous studio apt), small dining area, nice kitchen (with full-sized appliances), lots of closet space, decent sized bedroom. Rent (incl. heat, water, sewer, parking, gas, storage unit) plus Beep = $615. Add in Electricity and internet = $675-700/mo. The apartment is almost 600-square-feet. Laundry is on the same floor as the apartment. Plus, I’d have a cute patio for chillin’ in the summer, and a perfect place to put a cable for the Beepster.

Is it time to be a grown up and choose the more logical option, knowing this isn’t a long-term home, in order to be more comfortable (and to be able to have more than 1 person in my apartment at a time)?