Weigh-In Wednesday: Welcome Back

I’m gonna be honest with y’all. I don’t even know what I weigh right now. My scale is whacked out. I always weigh myself 3 times just to make sure I’m not standing on it weird or anything (I weigh myself right when I wake up so I’m a zombie).

Well, today I had to weigh myself about 10 times because I kept getting such drastically different numbers. They ranged from 250.8 to 258.6. We’re gonna go with 256 for our purposes today. Mostly because the 255-258 numbers came up most often.

So, there you have it. I’ve gained about 10 pounds since August, but only a couple of them came in December, so when you think about it, I handled the holidays pretty well.

But, it’s time to fix what I undid this fall.

I am not upset by the weight gain, but am using it as motivation to kick ass this month in training and with my 31-day vegetarian challenge.

Speaking of which, things were going swimmingly until today. Mid-day I began to CRAVE a juicy hamburger with bacon. And BBQ. And Cheddar.

OMG are you salivating?

I got through the craving and tonight I made fajitas!

Day 5: Field Roast Fajitas

Happy hump day everyone. It’s almost over.

Weigh in Wednesday: 20lbs!

It’s official.

I’ve lost 20.2 lbs since starting this journey January 6, 2010. Sure, the weight hasn’t come off as quickly as I had hoped, but I’ve kept the weight off, which is a huge accomplishment. I’ve never stuck to a nutrition and exercise plan for this long in my entire life. I’m working out 6 days a week.

I am 20% of the way there to achieving my goal of losing 100 pounds. I hope the next 20 doesn’t take as long as the first, but if it does, I’ll be ok with it. My life has changed for the better.

23 weeks ago, who’d have thought I would be just a month away from completing a half marathon?

And yet, here I am, preparing for my 10-miler on Sunday, and a 12-miler the following week.

Life is good. God is good. I’m so grateful.

Struggles

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know I’ve been struggling for the past 6 weeks or so. The number on the scale is not changing. I am becoming obsessed with whatever that number is. And yet, the inches continue to fall off. I’ve now lost 23 inches. That’s 23 inches in 16 weeks – an average of 1.4 inches lost PER WEEK. And while the number on the scale isn’t changing, I’m trying to focus on the number that IS changing.

So, for the next 4 weeks, I’m giving up on the scale. I will not weigh in on Wednesdays. I will not step on the scale. Ok, well I might step on the scale but I’m not going to focus on that being the goal for the week. You know I’ll be honest with y’all about what is going on. But I’m taking a break from the scale for my mental well-being. It’s been too hard to see the number stay the same or go up, despite my increasing workout regiment. I know I’m not making the BEST food choices, but I’m making BETTER food choices.

I’m going to focus on what I can control – what I do with my body and what I put into my body. I’m going to re-examine my routine. I’m going to change things up. I will get through this fork in the road.

Besides, I have that whole pound-for-pound challenge, so I need to kick my butt into gear.

Weigh-in Wednesday will return May 26. Stay tuned.

Remember, you can follow my training on DailyMile!

Weigh In Wednesday: Wait, What?

So this morning I stepped on the scale, as I’ve done every Wednesday since January 6. I was nekkid, as I always am (for the most accurate reading, of course). I check my weight 3 times, as I always do, to make sure the number is accurate and repeatable.

This morning, first time the scale said 264.4. Second time the scale said 261.2. Third time, the scale said 262.6.

What. The. Heck.

I think my scale is broken.

I will have to buy a replacement scale this weekend. Any suggestions?

Weigh In Wednesday: Holy Inches Batman!

Today started as a rather crappy Wednesday. I weighed in at 265, up .2 from last week. I know .2 is nothing at all… but it’s frustrating after seeing that 263.6 two weeks ago, almost 11 lbs lost… to now seeing exactly where I was 2 weeks ago.

I tried to look at the positives, the non-scale victories (NSVs). I feel better. I have more energy. My pants fall off all the time. But then there were the negatives glaring me in the face: You gained 1.5 pounds in the last 2 weeks. What the hell? Why did you make those poor food choices? Did you really need that extra piece of cake? (sidenote: cake was awesome. See?) Did you really need to skip working out three days in a row?

I don’t have good answers for those questions. I screwed up. I keep trying to stay positive but it’s been hard. I’ve wanted to give up. Finally admitting that I need to stop trying to run was a huge emotional blow.

You know what helped me see that weight loss and getting healthy is more than just what you see on the scale?

This post from my friend Anne:

It’s just a number, I don’t know why I’m so obsessed with it. I had to quit the scale like I quit smoking, drinking, Red Bull (well not anymore, I had some last weekend). It’s easier just to never do it. Once I step on I may be sucked into that world of weighing multiple times a day. I remember some of the tricks I used to play with the scale:

  • Step on the scale first thing in the morning. Pee. Step on again.
  • Stand with my feet to the outsides of the scale to see if that changed my number.
  • Weigh myself with just my underwear on. Then naked.
  • Hold my breath.
  • Worry about the number allllll day.
  • It’s too high – skip breakfast.
  • It’s low – skip breakfast. Or celebrate with a huge breakfast. Or ice cream.
  • I don’t like the number. Don’t eat all day? Or at least set out with that intention and end up binging.
  • Weigh myself at home and then again at the gym.
  • Weigh myself every time I go into the bathroom.
  • Fret over a loss or gain of .2 and not understand why people laughed at me when I told them about it.
  • Search my brain for justification of why the number was too high. The cookies the other day? Salty dinner last night? I drank too much water? Too little water?

All in all it just became too much. I’ve got issues, sure. But I am hyper-self-aware and I knew this was all unhealthy and taking a toll on me. (By the way, I certainly don’t punish myself with starvation anymore.)

This morning when I weighed myself, I can honestly tell you that the majority of the bullet points above were things I either did or considered doing.

Wake. Up. Call.

I can’t keep focuses on the scale numbers. There are so many other ways to measure success.

The mirror is another way I obsess. Some days it says I’m fat. Sometimes I tell it “Don’t talk about me like that! Would you say that to someone you love?” And sometimes I don’t fight back at all. Those are the days when I try on 6 outfits and hate all 6. Tom calls it closet puke. He’s knows I’m having a bad self-image day when he comes home to see clothes strewn all over the place.

But some days, like today, I feel on top of the world.

{…}I put on a new set of pretties this morning and really looked at myself. My legs look toned, my arms are (dare I say) better than Michelle Obama’s, and I can see just a little tiny bit of muscle definition in my midsection. I’ve made some amazing changes. Can I just be happy with that?

Today, yes I can. I am happy with my progress. I am happy with myself. And at least for right now, it doesn’t matter how much I weigh. I looked in the mirror and saw myself, my progress, my own face, my own skin.

And I liked it. (link)

Here is how I measured success this week without using the scale. I lost 7.25 inches in the past 4 weeks, with a total of 12.75 inches lost in 8 weeks.

Oh. Mah. Gawd.

Holler at ya girl.

March 3, 2010: Weight: 265.0 | Neck: 14.25 | Bust: 47 | Below Bust: 40 | R bicep: 15.25 | L bicep: 15.25 | Waist: 45.25 | Hips: 51.5 | R thigh: 29 | L thigh: 29.25 | R calf: 18 | L calf: 18.25 | L knee: 18 | R knee: 18 | total -9.2 lbs | total -12.75 inches

I have now lost 2.5 inches of boobs. If I lost that kind of rate in the gut and bootay regions I’d be happy. Hey body, let’s lose in a uniform pace, mmmkay?

Weigh-In Wednesday (a day late) plus yummy food porn

It’s Weigh-In Wednesday, Thursday edition because I didn’t get a new battery for my scale until today… drumroll please…..

272.0…for a total of 2.2 lbs lost in one week.

HOLLER! That’s even WITH my not-so-good weekend.

So before I do a li’l celebration dance, I have a few more things to share.

First, I bought Jillian Michaels’ 30 day shred DVD today at Target (bonus $2 off coupon = $8 investment, not too shabby). I did level 1 today. It’s about a 20 minute or so workout… and boy am I feeling it. But I know I done good… so I’m happy about that. Hopefully I won’t have to stay at the level 1 “easy” stage for long.

Second, I found an awesome app for my Droid that will help me keep track of weight loss, calories, etc… AND it has this cool barcode scanner feature… which will look up your food item in its database. I’ll have to do a video blog about it someday, but until then, check out Calorie Counter from Fatsecret.com.

Third, we have food porn.

I sauteed a chicken cutlet from Whole Foods in some Wildtree Grapeseed Oil and Garlic & Herb Blend… along with a shredded zucchini. Then I added some cherry tomatoes and some fresh mozzarella. ZOMG. Soooo good.