However, I think that the two huge glasses of chocolate milk post-workout tonight were a bad, bad idea.
I’m lactose intolerant.
Pro: My clothes are getting too big
Con: My clothes are falling off
Pro: I’ve met some of the most amazing people who share my getting fit/staying fit aspirations
Con: I’ve lost or found some friends distancing themselves from me as I get fit
Pro: My health is improving (yay for no high blood pressure!)
Con: I’ll be paying off those medical bills for awhile
Pro: I get sick when I eat super fatty/fried/unhealthy foods
Con: I get sick when I eat super fatty/fried/unhealthy but tasty foods
Pro: I can finally start to purchase clothes in the regular women’s section/”normal-sized” person stores
Con: New clothes cost money
Pro: Working out is getting easier
Con: My trainer is going to up the ante
Pro: I want to soak up as much running/training/working out/fitness knowledge
Con: I don’t want it to consume my life
Pro: I don’t drink as much/as often anymore because of how it affects my training (BONUS: Saves me $$)
Con: Sometimes people give me a hard time when I don’t drink like I used to
Pro: My priorities in life are changing (for the better)
Con: I feel guilty about this
Pro: I am more self-aware now than I have ever been
Con: I can tell I gained some weight back without even stepping on the scale
Pro: People are starting to really notice/comment on my physical changes
Con: I don’t know how to respond. The compliments are awesome, but I’m just not used to getting them.
Pro: I’ve had a taste of what a happy runner is.
Con: Injuries. Setbacks. Sadsies.
Pro: My favorite Wisconsin T-shirt is too big for me.
Con: My favorite Wisconsin T-shirt is too big for me.
Pro: People ask me for fitness/working out advice.
Con: I feel very unqualified.
Pro: I can walk up flights of stairs without getting winded.
Con: There is no con for this.
Have you heard the hype surrounding the upcoming Lakefront and Chicago marathons? Here’s your chance to learn more about marathons, while enjoying a movie and helping a group of local runners raising money for the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America.
Team Challenge of Wisconsin presents a special screening of Spirit of the Marathon, “The first film to capture the story, drama and ultimate essence of the legendary 26.2 mile running event. As six unique stories unfold, each runner prepares for and ultimately faces the challenge of the Chicago Marathon. More than a sports movie, Spirit of the Marathon is an inspirational journey of perseverance and personal triumph; a spectacle that will be embraced by runners and non-runners alike.”
What: Spirit of the Marathon movie fundraiser
When: Saturday, October 16th at noon
Where: Times Cinema, 5906 W. Vliet Street in Milwaukee [Google] [mapquest]
Tickets: $20 in advance or $25 at the door (includes movie, soda and popcorn)
Watch the trailer:
I have had so many setbacks in my training and journey to health. It seems like each time I take one step forward, something sets me two steps back.
I have worked hard to not let this affect me but, to be honest, it tears me up. I’ve tried to put up a strong front. I’ve tried to be nonchalant about it all. I’ve had some moments of public disappointment about my injuries and setbacks. Mostly, I’ve tried to convince myself it was ok.
Truthfully, it’s been blow after blow after blow, both physically and mentally.
It’s draining to stay positive when all you want to do is ask God, “Why does this keep happening to me? Why do I keep having injuries? Why do I have to be so freaking cautious in my training? Why is it easy for everyone else to train without setbacks?”
I’ve tried to be strong. I’ve tried to set a good example for others who say they are inspired by me. I don’t want to let them down. I don’t want to let you down.
But it’s all a lie.
From knee problems and a sprained foot/ankle to plantar fasciitis and a subluxated rib, I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it all.
I am sick of being excited about an accomplishment, only to a short time later have to pull back.
I want to run. I want to run far. I want to run fast. I want to be the best. I want to compete. I want to race.
I don’t want to be the last to finish. In fact, I don’t want to be anywhere near the back of the pack.
But that’s where I am.
Why can’t I be happy with where I’m at? Why am I constantly comparing myself to others who’ve been at this so much longer than I have? Why can’t I be happy, knowing that I have completed a half marathon, instead of being disappointed I walked more than 10 miles of it?
Why does it kill me to know — that despite my hopes, my prayers, my careful and smart training post Napa and during training for Vegas — that there’s no way I will be able to run a full 13.1 miles in 11 weeks? That was the plan all along. Just finish the race in Napa. Then run the hell outta Vegas. I’m 11 weeks from the race and the furthest I’ve gone is 3.8 miles, and that was mostly walking. Yesterday I ran for a mile without walking, and while I’m so freaking happy about that, the accomplishment is clouded by the knowledge that I can’t keep that pace going for more than a mile.
I know I need to focus on the positive, but I’m tired of focusing on that. I need to vent. I need to cry.
I’m trying to be smart. I’m trying not to push myself too hard. I’m trying to listen to my body. I’m trying to listen to my trainer. I’m trying to listen to my coaches. I’m trying to be positive.
I was craving pizza. I was procrastinating. I was trying to avoid working out tonight.
But then I decided I should run TO the grocery store for a pizza (or three).
I am such a freaking genius.
I did a warmup walk then started running. And I kept going. And going. And going. It was just me and the pavement. I realized I had been running for more than half a mile and made the decision that I wasn’t going to stop running until I hit the 1 mile mark. I didn’t pay attention to pace and didn’t have music to keep me going, since my ipod battery is dead. I checked my Garmin every so often to see how close I was to the 1 mile mark. Then I started taking weird streets, in an effort to stay near the grocery store. Then I saw I was at .99mi and 12:45 so I sprinted til my Garmin beeped it had been a mile. Then I gasped for air and refrained from attempting a cartwheel on the corner of Pleasant and Water.
Then I walked to the grocery store, sweaty, smelly and all. I bought three pizzas and a six pack of diet 7up. Then I walked home.
And it was awesome.
Had another great Team Challenge mid-week group run tonight. For the first quarter mile, Jodi and I stuck with Rochelle, Karla and Kevin… but after 5 minutes, we dropped back (they were going between 10:30-12min pace and that was pushing it for me for extended periods of time).
Jodi and I alternated running a quarter mile and walking a quarter mile for the first mile. Our split was 15:20ish. Unfortunately, this is where things went down hill for me.
You see, today I had time to make another batch of homemade tomato sauce with goodies from my garden. I spent more than 2 hours making the amazing sauce (fresh tomatoes, red pepper, garlic, onion, basil, italian sausage… shall I go on?) and couldn’t resist having some for dinner before the group run.
Note to self: NEVER EVER EAT A BIG MEAL BEFORE A RUN, NO MATTER HOW HUNGRY YOU ARE.
During the first mile my stomach started gurgling and its contents sloshed about.
By the 1.25 mi mark I told Jodi to go on without me. I wasn’t gonna be able to keep running. I thought I was going to puke.
About mile 1.6 (just about a tenth of a mile from the Lake Park Bistro stairs), I had a different kind of tummy rumble. You know, the I-don’t-have-to-puke-I-have-to -oh-crap-get-to-a-bathroom tummy rumble. I started running and was honestly worried I would either puke or shit my pants. Or both.
I made it that last tenth of a mile. But then I had the stairs. Those were brutal.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to cry.
I wanted a toilet, damnit.
I got to the top of the stairs and luckily made it to the bathroom.
Aren’t you glad I shared this story?